Tales & images from life as me…

TIA Tales – the wedding!


I know that really I should be keeping this blog not about my personal life, and I’m pretty sure Damien would prefer it if I didn’t mention him ‘in public’, but then they tell you to write what you know and since I’ve been pretty much wedding obsessed for the past few months it seems only right to tell the tale… in TIA style (and without mentioning Damien too much – oops that’s twice! – well, he is kind of a key part of this particular adventure! Sorry babe!)

So here it is… What Melissa & Damien did!

I’m going to focus on the day itself, but I think it’s worth mentioning a few of the mountainous molehills we overcame to make the whole thing happen – this is the summary:

To start with, there was the Atilla the Bride insanity scene where Damien sweetly brought back wedding mags from SA and I realised how much had to be done, and freaked! Then the mad series of events it took to get approved to be married not in a church, inter-religiously and outside of the country where we were living (meetings in Kenya, a pre-marital course in Tanzania, papers from four countries, and very nearly a wedding performed by a 90 year old priest who spoke only Italian, Swahili and Kikuyu – he retired before the big day sadly but was a fantastic character!). There was the change of date due to Kenyan elections, the insane trip back to the UK (all wedding focused – 6 months of preparation crammed into 3 weeks – and then I missed my connection on the way back due to a technical fault and the airline lost my bag, complete with wedding dress!). During the UK trip I had my first hen – the barge we were on met with a fallen tree! For those of you who don’t know (I didn’t) barges can’t turn around very easily so we had thought we were stuck – but several men who’d spotted a boat full of sailor-outfitted girls stepped in to rescue us! Phew – we’re only at July! By August the Yellow Fever debacle had begun – dad is apparently too old to have the injection but Tanzania won’t let you into the country without it! I think I had a meltdown round about then and my Mwanza ladies stepped in to help me out. There were blown budgets, work stresses, me getting sick, Damien getting sick, and then a second hen do to blow away the cobwebs! My bridesmaids shopped for bridesmaids shoes in the UK and by the wonders of modern technology I ‘joined’ them. Finally things started to feel as though they might come together… then we realised my pregnant sister wouldn’t fit into her bridesmaid dress! As I’m finally preparing for my family to arrive there is a flood in the house, the cat breaks its foot and rainy season is threatening to destroy everything!!! It really was comic – in fact there might just be a book in it.

But once everyone started arriving (in spite of Yellow Fever certificate inspector man, safari ant attacks and missed flights) we just knew it was all going to be ok, and when the morning of the wedding finally arrived with sunshine streaming through the window and smoked salmon, and scrambled eggs with champagne at the door, accompanied by my sister, Emily, and oldest friend in the world, Alice, I knew it would be perfect.

We spent the morning getting ready and hiding so I didn’t see Damien (or he me), but the rooms we had stayed in the night before had adjoining doors so we could shout good morning and hear the preparations! (and I could have a loud conversation with Alice about ‘not being sure’ whilst giggling like school kids!). I won’t go into all the tedious details but I had beautiful presents from Damien, and amazing hairdressing from Sarah, and Lyndsey was taking photos of me whilst Pete hung out with the boys (and is scarred for life by the talcum powder scene he witnessed – nuff said!). The morning passed pretty slowly, partly because I’d taken my watch off and was constantly asking the time… and then… it was time…

and the sky began to darken!

Suddenly we were being ushered out so as to start the ceremony before the rain came. There were a few snaps in the walled garden and then dad was there and we were off.





note: this arch was designed by us, with lots of help from Gerry and we will always have it in our garden now – cool keepsake huh?! (Thanks Svemily for the great idea!)

I walked down the aisle to ‘Memories of Us’ – a pretty emotional tune, and then Damien finally turned to look at me, our eyes met… But any danger of me getting soppy was quickly eradicated by Damien’s muttering “Pete Johnson, Pete Johnson, Pete Johnson” under his breath. Our poor friend Pete had apparently been selected as Damien’s coping mechanism to avoid him getting too emotional – it began as ‘imagine how much he’ll take the piss if you cry’ and when that wasn’t quite doing the trick it became ‘imagine him naked’ – of course I wasn’t aware of all this at the time but quickly realised afterwards that the most romantic day of my life had featured our good Aussie mate naked in my now-husband’s imagination for most of the day! The good part came later when the speeches began and everyone started getting emotional – they were all using the trick! Luckily Pete took it all in good spirits (mostly vodka I believe!)

Anyway, as we went through the various parts of the ceremony and I took in the little group of faces, the amazing setting and beautiful decorations I was feeling pretty pleased with the past few months’ work. Blessed even.

Then the rain began!!

Everyone else was under a tent but we were right in it. Luckily it wasn’t the full force of Africa, just a bit of wind and a shower (ooh there’s a joke there about Damien!) and a couple of kind folks grabbed umbrellas for us. In Africa a little rain at a wedding is considered a blessing for fertility so everyone was smiling and it didn’t seem to matter at all to our lovely priest who carried on regardless. I did have to laugh though as the band struck up for us to walk out at the end of the ceremony – we had chosen Toto Africa – the first line is ‘I bless the rains down in Africa!’. Brilliant!

From here we abandoned the cocktails around the pool for the safety of the veranda, but we got lucky after that and things dried up, leaving some great skies for the photographs.

We did speeches before dinner so the boys could relax and enjoy the evening – my Dad and Damien made us all cry and then Oli nearly made us wet ourselves laughing… and crying! Damien finally broke and it was hankies all round – even Pete Johnson couldn’t save us now.


Having had three days there our little group had got to know each other pretty well – they’d done masaai picnics, game drives, sundowners with a giant bonfire, a pizza party on the lake, boat trips and museum visits and now it all felt pretty relaxed and easy going as everyone took their seats for dinner, and we grabbed another glass of bubbly and were introduced as Mr & Mrs to our friends and family.

From here it all melted into a beautiful, sparkling fast forward – great dinner, amazing cake, jazz band in the background

and then all to soon it was time for the bit I’d been dreading… the first dance. In this dress? I can’t dance anyway, but the hook at the back of the dress to hold up the train was bust and it was kinda tight on the hips and, well I was pretty concerned! But Maia’s beautiful voice and our song and the smiling faces meant I didn’t even have to think when it actually came to it and pretty quickly everyone was joining in and conga-ing around the lawn as giraffes watched from a safe distance in the bushes.


There were cards and presents and flowers and music and everyone looked beautiful and everything was beautiful and Damien is the best husband ever and – please don’t laugh but – the best day of my life… so far? …I was so ready for it not to be, I knew there was so much that could potentially go wrong and was determined not to mind (after all – TIA), but in the end… yes! I want to do it all again!




Huge thank you’s to everyone so far who has given us pics (especially Pete and Lyndsey – how lucky are we with three professional photographers in the family!). Thanks also to the amazing Kongoni Lodge and all the fabulous staff x

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11 responses

  1. carriepots

    AMAZING AMAZING MEL! X

    November 8, 2012 at 3:39 pm

  2. Congratulations on your Wedding; everything looks so beautiful in the pictures. I wish you all the good times for the new journey!
    The blog is really well written and it never fails to amuse me!

    November 8, 2012 at 4:10 pm

    • Sorry for the delayed response but thank you! How lovely to know you are out there somewhere reading my mad tales! Wishing you all the best for 2013.

      January 17, 2013 at 11:59 pm

  3. Cecilia

    What a lovely and exciting wedding story you had! Thanks for sharing and Congratulations again!!!

    November 8, 2012 at 4:56 pm

  4. Caroline

    Lovely write up Mellissa, so pleased you had a beautiful wedding. Xx

    November 8, 2012 at 8:59 pm

    • Hi caro, so sorry, only just seen this message, not sure how I missed it but thank you. Hope you are good and happy. Love seeing you latest creative projects on FB every now and again 🙂 xx

      January 17, 2013 at 11:58 pm

  5. Hilly

    Great stuff, Mel, and it’s all true! Thank you for a wonderful trip and a fairy tale wedding.
    Much love from your aged Aunt Hillyxx

    November 9, 2012 at 1:29 am

  6. Lovely to see your beautiful photos Mel – best wishes to you and your lovely hubby for a great future together xxx

    November 9, 2012 at 1:58 pm

    • Thank you for your lovely comment and so sorry not to have responded until now. Hope you had a great Christmas and wishing you all the best for 2013 xx

      January 17, 2013 at 11:57 pm

  7. Mel!!! Congratulations! You look so beautiful and happiness seems to radiate from you. I hope I can see you when I get back as I have truly missed you. Thank you so so much for sharing…I think I feel a little emotional now so I’ll stop here. Congratulations once again x

    November 9, 2012 at 10:16 pm

  8. Congrats. U looked beautiful and looks like you had a few ‘bumps’ pop up along the way but looks like it all turned out well. Hope you are enjoying every minute of married life.

    November 11, 2012 at 10:56 am

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